WHAT'S A "TURN SIGNAL"?

KENNETH E. HALL    July 9, 2018    HOUSTON, TX


Turn signal? Turn WHAT??

In Houston, as is the case in nearly every major city, a turn signal lit is like flipping someone off. It means: "I'm coming into YOUR PERSONAL, PRIVATE lane now. Just watch me!"


Imagine you are driving down the freeway, moving along at a decent clip. In Houston, 75mph in a 60mph zone is considered normal and a reasonable speed. You are distracted, thinking about this and that, when the sign for your exit looms overhead. You have about 2 miles before it is upon you.

No worries.

In full compliance with the law, you turn on your right-turn signal to indicate a lane-change.
This sets up a series of unhappy but all-too-common freeway events. You look around; all is clear in the cellphone/texters' lane (the middle lane - NOT the slow lane) - you THINK!!!

WRONG!!

There is a car in your blind spot on your right rear, pacing you, going the exact speed you are going - whatever that speed might be.

FIRST, the guy you are trying to get in front of looks up from his cellphone and sees the turn signal as a DELIBERATE AFFRONT to his manhood (or her womanhood). This will never do.
You're in a heap o'trouble, boy, 'cause we don't cotton to no such goings-on in the great State of TEXAS!!!

NEXT: Sure as shooting, the car immediately accelerates to try to prevent you from getting into his or her privately-owned lane. (Your bad for not recognizing the great "I AM".)

You need to get off at the next exit, but you see his nibs, the jerk-wad, pull up right alongside you to block you.  He doesn't pass you...that's not his deal; instead, he STAYS alongside of you,  knowing full-well you need to get over. Now you went and made him mad.

But let's say you're one of the maybe SIX nice guys on the busy freeway that day. You then politely slow down and let him by, blinker still on, and try to get behind jerk-wad.

HE SLOWS DOWN!!!

And that's not all: Bubba, the guy in the pick-up behind jerk-wad is in no mood to be insulted either, so HE accelerates, pulling up so close to jerk-wad's rear bumper that the remains of the dead bugs on his almost touch that of jerk-wad. He's as close to him as white is on rice.

Meanwhile, your exit is getting closer, and you're no better off now than you were a mile back...
You try your move with the car behind , only to have the exact same thing happen. Why would you do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result? That's just CRAZY! So you watch in frustration as your exit soon disappears in your rear view mirror.

Suddenly, jerk-wad no longer blocks you. He backs off, because now he has control, so he politely lets you in. See, he has gotten even with you for even hoping you can cut in front of him. He has to ALLOW you to get in and use his personal, private space.

The guy behind him likewise loses interest. Time to send another text message.
You gradually ease over, this time (very important!) WITHOUT signaling, and you are now cleared to change lanes and get over to the next exit - only a few miles up the road.

Welcome to Houston!