SCIENCE CONVENTION!!
KENNETH E. HALL JULY 15, 2018 HOUSTON
One day in 1986, I had an appointment with a man named Paul Yasich at a company called Teletechniques in Harahan, near New Orleans. I was well-dressed, shoes shined, and I was well-prepared for a nice, professional sales presentation for him and one or two others at the firm. I arrived promptly at 9:00a.m. and walked in to the modern, concrete and glass office building. As I entered the door, I looked straight ahead, and several paces in front of me sat a very businesslike receptionist.
"Good morning!" I said cheerily, "My name is Ken Hall and I have a 9:00a.m. appointment with Mr. Yasich.
She responded: "Fine, sir, I'll just let him know that you're here."
Then she paused a second and looked at me: "What did you say your name was?"
"Ken Hall, Ma'am."
She picks up the phone and begins to speak - but looks at me and again asked my name. I give it to her as before. I was mystified.
The receptionist hung up and soon enough a very nice lady appears. She introduces herself to me and I did likewise... but this lady again asked me my name just after I told her.
So I looked at both the lady and the receptionist and I told them jokingly, in a very good Russian accent: "Thees CRAYZI! I caam from Raasha, my name Alexei Andrei Irisovich Dniepropetrovsky and hheer nobody pronounsink my name - so I change to KEN HALL - and still nobody pronounsink my name!! Vatt I can DOO?"
The lady smiles broadly, then goes into gales of laughter and jumps up and down saying:"That was just GREAT!! That was FANTASTIC!! Oh my GOD!"
(All right, I didn't think it was THAT good - but these ladies sure got a kick out of it.)
A few seconds later, while the two ladies were still giggling and giving each other a thumbs-up and all, an older gentleman came out into the lobby. He offered me his hand, saying: "Good morning, I'm Paul Yasich. I see you've met my daughter, Deidre." He pointed to the lady who just hit the giggle-snort jackpot on 'Laugh-In.'
"Daddy!" Deidre interjected, "You just have to HEAR this guy TALK!!
She looks at me and says:"Come on - do that Russian voice!!"
I stay in character: "Da - like i vas tellink it to da laydee heer, I just camink een fram Raasha!"
Mr. Yasich does a double-take and he, too, starts flipping out on me - jumping up and down - and then Deidre jumps up and down and the receptionist is in hysterics. I figured, if I don't get a sale here, I certainly would have one of my funniest business calls ever!
Mr Yasich calms down and says:" You're PERFECT! How would you like to be on MORGUS??"
Turned out that this company was the production company for Morgus!! Who knew?!?!
For those who don't know who or what 'Morgus' is - "Morgus Presents" was a late-Saturday-night campy science-fiction program hosted by a mad scientist named Momus Alexander Morgus, who conducted experiments for the betterment of humanity in his laboratory above the old City Ice House.
He would do a lecture or presentation for "all you doctors and scientists" out there and bade them have their notebooks ready. During various interruptions of the movie, he would come up with some crackpot invention and it would show promise, only to have things go terribly awry at the end of the movie. He had a mute side-kick named Chopsley - dressed in a Medieval executioner's hood, and although Chopsley was supposedly a dumbell, he usually wound up by saving Dr. Morgus' skin when whatever experiment he did failed miserably.
RENOWN BIOLOGIST DR. GILDA FINKELSTEIN PREPARES A SUPER-SATURATED SOLUTION OF PARA-DIMETHYL-AMILOZOA- BENZENE- ORTHOCORBACILLIC ACID WHICH, IF ADMINISTERED THIRTY MINUTES EVERY HALF-HOUR, ABSOLUTELY PREVENTING NOBSTILLERATION. IT MUST BE ADVISED TO HAVE A NOBSTILLERATOR AT HAND WHEN THE SOLUTION IS ADMINISTERED!
This particular episode was a "Scientist Convention", and present were famous "scientists" from around the world, who converged on Dr. Morgus' laboratory to receive the prestigious "Higher Order" award, given only to the most brilliant scientists of our day.
I took two of my children along for a couple of the shoots, and they got to meet Dr. Morgus, Chopsley, and the other members of the cast, and we all got to see how it was to be part of a television program. thoroughly enjoyed meeting my fellow actors, and it was a lot of fun doing it! Besides, I got to see the real set where a program I watched as a kid was taped, and that was a pleasure, too.
ABOVE: SCREEN-SHOT OF ME RECEIVING MY "HIGHER ORDER" AWARD FOR GENE-SPLICING! I CROSSED A FLORIDA ORANGE WITH A SIBERIAN MUSKRAT TO PRODUCE FUR-COVERED ORANGES CAPABLE OF GROWING IN THE SUB-ZERO TEMPERATURES OF COLDEST SIBERIA!
After I received my "Higher order" award, said thanks IN RUSSIAN. and the taping was all done, we went home and waited for the big night - the night it would appear on TV! Of course, phone calls went out to family and friends, and I had my VHS VCR all set to go for when it would come on. It was a big deal! You'd swear to goodness it was a major blockbuster movie that was to debut!
I (DR. IVAN DUBRONACHEV) COMPARE NOTES WITH A FELLOW NOTED SCIENTIST.
With all that fun we all had, I'm pleased to say that I even got PAID for my acting!! OK, it did nothing to help me pay off my mortgage - why don't we put it that way - but we had a couple of good nights on the town, and I got to take pictures of my kids at the news desk of Channel Six!
It was said that in the future, everybody will have 15 minutes of fame. Looks like I got mine, and had a ball doing it. Turns out that the program was also picked up and aired by a TV station in New York City - so I guess I hit the big time, didn't I?
Just think of it: I got to be somebody - I got to be on TV - I got to be on MORGUS!
AIRDATE: JULY 16, 1986
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