Oreo Mouse

September 20, 2014

Houston, TX

"Mejor solo que mal acompañado." - Spanish proverb 

There's a difference between being alone, and being lonely. 

Some people feel alone in a crowd, while feeling perfectly content all by themselves.

We humans are by nature gregarious beings, by and large. 

We seek out the company of our mate, family members, friends, or often complete strangers. 

When we lack human interaction, we often turn to substitutes, such as the TV or radio. 

When we are alone, as night spreads over the land, sometimes our minds wander, play tricks on us, or even deceive us into thinking we are not really alone. 

Sometimes we think we are alone, when in fact we are not. 

I like Oreo cookies. I like them, I believe, much more than the average Joe. I was out of town - my usual status, considering I've spent much of my time with a packed suitcase and the open road. 

Sitting alone in my motel room, I had returned from a light dinner, and was "improving my

mind", as my grandfather would have said, watching a few silly, inane programs on TV. 

Unnoticed by me, the sun had gone down, and the lights of the small town I was in had come on. The neon sign above the motel office flickered intermittently. 

There were no cars in the parking lot except mine and a big rig. The traffic on the street had greatly subsided, and outdoors all was quiet.

It was about 8:30, and I was at a break in my viewing, when I got a hankering for some Oreo cookies. I was never one for self-indulgence, but tonight I decided by-golly I'd go out and buy a pack! 

And so I did.

I returned shortly with my prize, devoured probably ½ dozen of the little black cookies when I decided enough was enough - it is time to go to bed. 

I slept soundly that night - I say soundly, but all of a sudden I awoke with a start! It must have been the wee hours of the morning .

I had no explanation as to just why

I awoke so abruptly. I strained to listen for any sounds, but all was quiet. The room was quite dark. I stared out into the gloom, which for all I knew that night, it stretched out to infinity.

Obviously there was

nothing amiss. I settled down to my peaceful slumber, and had just drifted off when I sat up again. 

Something WAS wrong. Sleep had left my eyes and I was now quite awake. I got this funny notion that I was not alone in my room!

I turned on the lamp at my bedside and gazed intently all around the room, in search of - well, I really had no idea. I felt like little boy fearing a boogeyman under his bed.

Nothing seemed out if place, and I began to chuckle to myself for being so silly. I turned out the light, and turned over. 

Then it happened. 

"TICK!" It was the ever so slight yet distinct sound of cellophane crinkling. There was no doubt about it.

Again I sat up. My heart pounded. It was now clear I was not alone --- and the sound I heard was not human. I turned on the light, but saw nothing, as before. 

So I turned out the light again, but this time I kept my hand on the light switch, ready to instantly turn the lamp back on in the event that I heard another sound. 

I didn't have long to wait.

"TICK!" came again. THE INSTANT I heard the crinkle, I turned the switch, illuminating the entire room, the pack of Oreos, …and the CULPRIT!!!

It was a tiny mouse. It had been caught in the act pilfering my Oreos. 

Strange as it may seem, I was actually relieved that there wasn't something more sinister wandering my room. Nevertheless, I needed my sleep, and I had no desire to share my precious Oreos with anyone - or any thing.

I picked up my phone and called the front desk:

C: Front Desk!

M: Hi! This is Ken Hall in room #225. Say, do you have me down as a single-occupancy room?

C: Yes, Sir.

M: Well, I'm not by myself.

C: That's fine, sir, I'll just make a note on your folio.

M: There's only one problem: I don't know the other guest.

SILENCE on the line.

C: Uh, sir, I'm afraid I don't understand…

M: Well, it seems as though I have a mouse staying with me, but he didn't come with me.

C: I see…

M: And he's eating my Oreos!

C: Would you like another room?

M: Yes, but can you arrange for it to be one without a mouse?

C: I believe we can accommodate you, sir.

So I went to the desk and picked up my room key, and vacated the room without leaving a forwarding address. 

I finally and eventually dozed back to sleep. This time I stayed asleep until I hear a knocking at my door. It's the maid. I forgot to put the "DO NOT DISTURB" sign onto my doorknob! 

Really? I thought I'd sleep in and begin the day a bit later…

I waved her off, and began to get ready. I put the TV on, but it didn't work. Probably depressing news, anyway, I thought. 

I took a shower, then afterwards I began to shave, etc. When I turned on the water, "GUSH!!!" A pipe burst beneath the lavatory, and when I investigated the noise, I was drenched with a deluge that would rival old faithful, thoroughly soaking me. 

I called the front desk.

C: FRONT DESK!

M: Good morning! I'm Ken Hall in Room #230 - formerly of Room #228. Uh, I have a little problem…

C: Aren't you the guy with the mouse?

M: That would be me! Uh, yeah, I have another issue. I just had a pipe explode under my lavatory, and it's really gushing out. In fact, it's beginning to flood the room.

C: I'll get someone there right away.

M: Have him come in a rowboat, OK!

So I dry myself off for the second time, got dressed, threw my soggy belongings into my suitcase,  and put the stuff into the trunk of my car.

I got into my car, inserted the key into the ignition, and turned the key. 

Nothing

I had a dead battery. Am I on Candid Camera? This stuff just can't be happening!

I had the car towed down to a nearby dealership and found out, to my utter delight, that the battery's guarantee expired LAST WEEK! Really??

So I had to pay quite a bit for another battery, and wait my turn until, about an hour later, my car was ready. 

At the counter was an older man. He had that worn, haggard look - the look of a person who has been there and done that. He was a man who, at one time or another in his long life, has sold just about everything there was to sell in just about every market. 

He wore an old, weatherbeaten suit and a hat. One shoulder was slightly lower than the other from carrying a sales bag full of samples and catalogues for forty long years.

He could see I was having a bad week. I was. My sales were down, my quota was raised, I got gypped out of some commission by a salesman from another territory, and my kids were sick, again.

"Rough week, eh, kid?" He asked sympathetically.

"Yeah," I told him. I related the story of the mouse, the burst pipe, and the bad battery. "Every time I work this town, something crazy happens!"

"Yeah, I know what you mean," he said. His eyes were tired, and his face was sad. "I got one o'them, too."

"One what?" I asked.

"Nemesis city. Every salesman has one. It's a place that you go where things always go wrong."

"Yeah, that's what this is, all right!" I replied. We talked for the better part of an hour. He shared with me his triumphs and his tragedies. 

He told me:"You won't win 'em all, no matter how good you are."

Then the man's car was ready. We shook hands, and he gave me a reassuring touch on the shoulder.  I watched him walk out to an older car - a car that was as worn out and as tired as its owner.

I felt sad. He was a tired old man in a tired old car, doing his best to keep his customers satisfied, and the bills paid. 

He waved to me as he drove off. I gave him the thumbs up, and away his car chugged - smoke billowing from the exhaust. 

I thought of the play "Death of a Salesman." I recalled his face, and prayed to God this would not be me in thirty years. There must be more to life than this…

My car was ready, now. I jumped in, and it started right up. I pulled out onto the Interstate, and drove home without stopping.

I turned on the radio as I sped away. A Johnny Rodriguez song was playing on a faraway country music station: 

"This old highway seems so lonesome when you're going where you've been,

And a lonesome song can make you cry time and time again…"

Songs of traveling and the open road - yeah - guess I know 'em all by heart. 

But I pulled into my driveway just as my kids were coming home from school. 

"DADDY!!" They all shouted, and rushed up to hug me. My wife, surprised at my early arrival, came out to greet me, too. 

I was home with the ones I love. And that is the point of it all, isn't it?