PHONE LINES - Enquiries

13 July 2014

Osaka, Japan

One day in 1967, I took the Ferry from New Orleans to Gretna, a pleasant experience enough. When I arrived on the opposite shore and disembarked, I needed to call my mother to come pick me up. 

Problem was: I lost the number of the people's house where she was visiting. Today, this might be a catastrophe, because there is no longer a way to look up people's cellphone numbers. Only HACKERS - and the GOVERNMENT can do that!

Back in 1967, a cellphone was a huge, clunky suitcase affair that cost a mint, and almost nobody had one except certain high-power corporate executives and government officials. 

What people had was what is now known as a "land-line." (This term was in use in the Sixties only by HAM radio operators.) The numbers were listed in a telephone book or directory, and these directories were distributed to every household and business in the nation.  

If a caller did not know or remember the telephone number of the person or business to be called, an entity called "INFORMATION" gave out the number free of charge. It was changed to "Directory Assistance" partly because of a large number of calls for all sorts of information other than for telephone numbers. That was the excuse. In reality, the phone companies wished to increase their profits by discouraging the use of the "INFORMATION" service (called Enquiries in the UK). It was not very long after the name change that a charge was made for the service.

I went to a phone booth, (a small cabin containing a telephone), and it would usually provide the customer with a phone book - buy today there was none to be found. Undaunted, I dialed INFORMATION only to hear for the first time the words "Directory Assistance". 

I asked for the number, only to hear: "That number is listed in your directory." 

Silence. 

"I'm sure it is, ma'am!" I replied politely, "but I'm at a pay phone, and someone had stolen the phone book, which is why I called you."

Within a few seconds the operator grudgingly gave me the number in that nasal monotone which only telephone operators had.  

I exited the booth, shaking my head at this bizarre experience. It was at this point in my life that recall that I first noticed slight, subtle changes in America, and how it's people and companies relate to one another. 

FACT: In this Brave New World in which we live, companies do not want to be in touch with its customers. They consider them annoyances which produce no revenue. 

Back in the Sixties, there was no such thing as a "Customer Service" limbo line, where potential customers, after being treated to a dozen or more prompts, recordings, strong suggestions to go away and don't bother with us - just go onto www.wedontwannatalktoyou.com, eventually may exit the electronic conundrum only to speak to a usually apathetic person who earns minimum wage, and whose sole desire in life at this point is to get the caller off their line as quickly as possible.

Assisting the customer is not in the equation. 

Amazingly, back in the Sixties and before that, EVERY phone call to ANY company large or small, was answered quickly and courteously, and whoever picked up the phone answered first with the company's name, then asked: "How can I help you?" They also did not ask the caller to put up with a long string of inane questions to "verify" whatever. Never mind that all your information shows up on their screen the minute you provide them with your number, and they see who is calling on Caller ID! 

By the time the caller of today finally gets to the reason for the call, it is already clear that he or she is by no means in control. This is done deliberately. It is meant to intimidate, baffle, and bewilder the caller and fool him or her into thinking that they are really being assisted. In reality, the so-called Customer Service" persons neither treat the caller as a customer, NOR has the called been given any service. The caller is antagonized and frustrated, and the problem or situation continues to exist!

As stated, a customer service line is a labyrinth - a deliberate circuitous process of intimidation, deflection, deception, and even lies, resulting in possibly only 10% of all callers actually receiving assistance to the extent that it RESOLVES the issue and actually assists the customer. 

Directory Assistance was, as far as I can tell, the first act by corporate America to separate themselves from their customers. Today, so-called "Customer Service" is outsourced to INDIA, (or to some other Third-World country) and those representatives are not even employees of the firm called - they are contract-personnel who have no interest in professionally representing the company, have minimum training, and are in reality not empowered to do much of anything but baffle and snow the caller. The truth is, the SOLE purpose for these people is to GET RID OF THE CALLER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. 

Many of the calls are 100% AUTOMATED. Don't ask, don't question, and for God's sake do not complain. Just pay your bill in full and hang up.