AUGUST 26, 2014, I POSTED A PICTURE I TOOK RETURNING FROM NARITA, JAPAN TO HOUSTON
"My teachers always told me no one would pay me to look out the window. ------ Guess I won that round!"
Q AIR LINES Q BY KENNETH E. HALL
A COLLECTION OF STORIES AND TALES FROM AN INTERNATIONAL FLIGHT ATTENDANT.
"PIMENTO" is a magic French word! Oh, you didn't know that??
An airline gate agent who used to work the Paris flights told me one day that he was given a "magic word" to use whenever he was getting crowded and could not take care of a customer at that moment.
The word was "pimento."
"Pimento?" I asked, surprised, "But that has no meaning in French that I know of..."
He said he didn't know anything about that. All he knew is that if someone came up to him and he was too busy, he'd tell them "pimento" and they'd go right back to their seats.
"Works every time!" he told me.
"Works every time!" he told me.
Our inbound plane had just arrived and we had yet another hour or so to wait for us to get on.
I sat alone in my thoughts, chuckling about that silly word.
What could it BE?
Then it dawned on me: the way to say "not now" in French is "pas maintenant" - pronounced "pamantnon" - which the guy evidently figured sounds a lot like the word pimento!
So if you're sitting in a French restaurant, you're not yet ready to order but the waiter comes to your table and asks what you would like, send him away, en français: just say "PIMENTO!"
SENIORITY: When I started, I flew some trips with some stews who were rrreally senior! They were SO senior…(How senior,(you might ask.) ? They we're SO SENIOR they used to tell me stories about Orville and Wilbur… WHEN THEY WERE BOYS!!!!!
JUNIORITY: For years I flew senior trips. Unless we had an emergency re-crew consisting of new-hires, I lived a strictly benthonic life... I got what trickled down...and you KNOW what "trickles down!" One day, someone asked me how I coped with always being bottom-man on Totem pole. You have to have a good attitude about it, pure and simple! I told them that I would always stand up for my "juniority!" After all, it's how you look at it: I wasn't on the bottom if you held the crew list UPSIDE DOWN!
MISDIRECTED ANIMOSITY: The airplane is an emotionally-charged metal tube flying over oceans and continents, and people, already upset over personal problems and a plethora of other things tend to take out those frustrations on others:
I was a Japanese-speaker on a San Francisco-Osaka flight. On those flights, there are mostly Japanese, and they expect there to be people who can assist then in their own language. On one service, there was a large contingent of Japanese senior high school students, and they were having a ball talking and joking with this Gai-Jin (foreigner) who knew something of their language - (me). I was having a great time with them as well, and went from one to the other asking what they wanted to eat and so forth. I came to this young Asian-looking girl and addressed her also in Japanese. [I can USUALLY tell Japanese from Koreans... I say USUALLY...] Suddenly she snaps at me like I had just roundly insulted her, curtly declaring in English: "I'M NOT JAPANESE!"
Without missing a beat or even getting upset in the slightest, I smiled and politely answered her: "Neither am I!"
While sitting in the crewroom awaiting an assignment, I met a beautiful blonde flight attendant who was reading a book in Japanese! being very shy and all, it took me about two seconds to ask her about her knowledge of the Japanese language. She told me she was the daughter of, I believe, a missionary family and grew up in Japan. She went to school through university completely in the Japanese educational system, and had authored several books in that difficult language.
One day, on one of her very first flights as a Japanese-speaking crewmember, a Japanese businessman came up to her and another flight attendant. The other lady had been working for the airline for many years, was born in Hawai'i of Japanese ancestry - some five generations - and spoke no Japanese. The businessman approached the two, bowed politely, and both ladies returned the bow. He asked a question, directing it, understandably, to the Japanese lady, who stood there and said not a single word.The blonde young attendant answered the question in fluent Japanese.
The businessman came up with another question, and the same thing happened. He became a bit annoyed and posed yet a third question, whereupon the blonde young lady was the one to acknowledge and respond to his query.
Japanese businessmen typically are very quiet and soft-spoken. when not out on the town at an all-night sushi bar - polite to the max, but this gentleman had come unglued. He let forth a tirade, directing the full fury of his ire at the bewildered Japanese-American lady, who, of course, understood nothing of what was taking place in front of her.
"This is an INSULT!!! How DARE you not even SPEAK to me --- and defer my questions to your subordinate!!" he shouted - quite beside himself.
The younger of the two ladies politely bowed and explained the situation. Things aren't always what they seem. One Japanese businessman most definitely "lost face" that flight!
SENIORITY: When I started, I flew some trips with some stews who were rrreally senior! They were SO senior…(How senior,(you might ask.) ? They we're SO SENIOR they used to tell me stories about Orville and Wilbur… WHEN THEY WERE BOYS!!!!!
JUNIORITY: For years I flew senior trips. Unless we had an emergency re-crew consisting of new-hires, I lived a strictly benthonic life... I got what trickled down...and you KNOW what "trickles down!" One day, someone asked me how I coped with always being bottom-man on Totem pole. You have to have a good attitude about it, pure and simple! I told them that I would always stand up for my "juniority!" After all, it's how you look at it: I wasn't on the bottom if you held the crew list UPSIDE DOWN!
MISDIRECTED ANIMOSITY: The airplane is an emotionally-charged metal tube flying over oceans and continents, and people, already upset over personal problems and a plethora of other things tend to take out those frustrations on others:
I was a Japanese-speaker on a San Francisco-Osaka flight. On those flights, there are mostly Japanese, and they expect there to be people who can assist then in their own language. On one service, there was a large contingent of Japanese senior high school students, and they were having a ball talking and joking with this Gai-Jin (foreigner) who knew something of their language - (me). I was having a great time with them as well, and went from one to the other asking what they wanted to eat and so forth. I came to this young Asian-looking girl and addressed her also in Japanese. [I can USUALLY tell Japanese from Koreans... I say USUALLY...] Suddenly she snaps at me like I had just roundly insulted her, curtly declaring in English: "I'M NOT JAPANESE!"
Without missing a beat or even getting upset in the slightest, I smiled and politely answered her: "Neither am I!"
While sitting in the crewroom awaiting an assignment, I met a beautiful blonde flight attendant who was reading a book in Japanese! being very shy and all, it took me about two seconds to ask her about her knowledge of the Japanese language. She told me she was the daughter of, I believe, a missionary family and grew up in Japan. She went to school through university completely in the Japanese educational system, and had authored several books in that difficult language.
One day, on one of her very first flights as a Japanese-speaking crewmember, a Japanese businessman came up to her and another flight attendant. The other lady had been working for the airline for many years, was born in Hawai'i of Japanese ancestry - some five generations - and spoke no Japanese. The businessman approached the two, bowed politely, and both ladies returned the bow. He asked a question, directing it, understandably, to the Japanese lady, who stood there and said not a single word.The blonde young attendant answered the question in fluent Japanese.
The businessman came up with another question, and the same thing happened. He became a bit annoyed and posed yet a third question, whereupon the blonde young lady was the one to acknowledge and respond to his query.
Japanese businessmen typically are very quiet and soft-spoken. when not out on the town at an all-night sushi bar - polite to the max, but this gentleman had come unglued. He let forth a tirade, directing the full fury of his ire at the bewildered Japanese-American lady, who, of course, understood nothing of what was taking place in front of her.
"This is an INSULT!!! How DARE you not even SPEAK to me --- and defer my questions to your subordinate!!" he shouted - quite beside himself.
The younger of the two ladies politely bowed and explained the situation. Things aren't always what they seem. One Japanese businessman most definitely "lost face" that flight!
THE "LINGUINI" - A buddy of mine, when commenting on my interest in languages, told me once: "Kenny, you're a veritable LINGUINI!" It took me quite some time not to chuckle every time my wife came home with a packet of Linguine to cook. But it was true: I love languages and have so since I was about seven years old. I remember on a long international flight, I was sitting down studying Arabic. One lady who picked up the trip out-of-base saw me writing notes and looking up words in a dictionary. She looked over my shoulders and shook her head.
"You're studying ARABIC?" she asked. This was straight out of the Chronicles of Nunya - Nunya Business!)
I said I was, and that I found the language interesting.
She comes back with her opinion (which I do not recall ever asking her for...) saying: "You know, you could put your time to FAR better use by studing a more widely-spoken language like French, Spanish, German, Italian - something that you could actually USE..."
I kept writing, and didn't say a word. I wasn't going to grace a comment like that with an answer.
A girl I've flown with for years said:" Leave him alone, Honey, he already speaks those languages."
It's nice when someone has your back.
"YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME HERE!" About a dozen years ago, I was working a flight from Paris to Houston. I was helping several different people, and wound up by using as many different languages in the process. That was par for the course on a Paris flight. When we were on final approach, I took my jumpseat at 3R - you know - where you get to stare at all the passengers in coach and they all stare at you! This man was very nice and told me he enjoyed the way I did my job. I was feeling pretty good, too, until he said something else:
"What are you DOING here, man? I mean, with all your language skills and so forth you could be doing so much more with your life!"
But I was a gentleman about it, and addressed him thus: "Well, yes, I suppose I could - but let me see how true that really is: "You," I explained "work the week, and have weekends OFF, am I right?"
He nodded in agreement.
"I WORK on weekends, and have the WEEK off.... and on those weekends, I'm in PARIS! ----and I feed my family. Do you have a better offer?"
He smiled understandingly, knowing I enjoyed my job immensely. He gave me a firm, sincere handshake when the flight was over.
I don't consider a minute wasted in my nearly 22 year long career flying.
♫ "*TOMBE LA NEIGE!!!" We were heading inland over the English Channel one winter morning, when the captain announced we would be delayed due to a snowfall in Paris. A French passenger got very angry and told me "WE" were to blame for the delay. I looked straight at him and, in true logical Gallic fashion, said to him, politely: "Mais, c'est VOTRE neige, monsieur!" (But it's YOUR snow, sir!)
Anger quickly left his eyes and he nodded in agreement, as did the other French passengers around him. Guess I won that one!
4/20/2014 - "HOLIDAYS": It's nearly eight o'clock on a chilly spring evening here in London. The grey skies and pouring rain have, at long last given way to a clearing sky and the promise of a beautiful day tomorrow. The sun peeped briefly out of its dark hiding place, as if to reassure us all that it is indeed still there. Today is a holiday, or so the calendar says. Someone of great importance long, long ago, chose this particular day from among all others to celebrate some significant event. All the shops and restaurants are shuttered tight, and the few people who venture out onto the city sidewalks amble about quickly and unsmiling. For several days up until now I have had the pleasure of being home. In a few days, after the solemn festivities have come to an end, I, once again will be free to be home with my family. But today, since it is revered by so many others, I shall spend apart from my loved ones - in the company of strangers - in some far-flung corner of the globe. Like nearly every holiday, it, for me, is but another day of work - void of the significance assigned to it. I do take pleasure, though, in being of service to those who, like me, are traveling on such a day. Far more pleasure still do I get thinking that, God willing, I will soon return to family and friends. They will greet me and ask me how was England or Japan, or wherever I've been, and I will smile, say it was wonderful .... and give thanks to be home.
& MORE AIR LINES: @There isn't a flight crew member around who hasn't seen his or her share of the weird or the noteworthy while out on the line. "I tell ya, I could write a BOOK!" I used to say. AIR LINES is a fledgling attempt to write down some funny, sad, exciting, strange, and just plain BIZARRE things that I have seen in a career that spanned over two decades and took me to many places in the world. Here are links to other stories which air crew and even the flying public can relate to:
QU MEDICAL EMERGENCIES - We have all had them; they are never fun, and it is heartbreaking when your stuck inside a metal tube at 30,000' and the only help a sick or injured passenger has is YOU. I have one heartfelt story which I would like to share:
I call it "A Heartfelt Lullabye":
F http://kennyduke.blogspot.com/2014/05/a-heartfelt-lullaby-tiho-noce.html
Q AIRPORTS!!! ---- DON'T GET ME STARTED!!! Q
Why do so many people HATE to fly? This is a whole other story!! Please check it out!
F http://kennyduke.blogspot.com/2014/06/institution-of-aggravation.html
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*"Tombe la Neige" (in English: "The Snow is Falling") is a French-language song written and sung by Belgian-Italian singer Salvtore Adamo. Released in 1963, it and became a worldwide hit and one of Adamo's best-known songs.
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