Things That Make You Go "Hmmmmm.....

San Francisco

21 July 2014

Over a lifetime, you'll see just about everything… if you LIVE long enough!! Here are a few stories of the strange, the bizarre, and the unexpected that to this day cause me to wonder.

You Oughta Be In Pictures!

I was walking along the streets of Paris one evening. I was at the intersection of rue St. Charles and Émil Zola. Pangs of hunger were getting stronger, and I began to search amid the neon lights of the avenue for a restaurant. 

Down the block and across the street from where I was, I saw a lit sign saying: "COUSCOUS". Yes! I thought, this would be where I would eat tonight!

I walked briskly down the sidewalk, listening to my portable cassette player with earphones on. 

I was studying Arabic at the time, and I'd occasionally press the REWIND button to repeat a word or phrase. 

Upon entering, I was seated at a corner table, and immediately gazed all around me at the ornate décor of the place. 

It was Moroccan art at its finest! I continued to listen to my cassette. 

I was the only guest in the place when I came in, but a few minutes that changed. In walked a party of six people, and they were seated at a larger table in front of me. 

It was not very long after that when one of them arose from the table, and walked deliberately to my table.

He was a big man, as French men go. He had a T-shirt with BRASIL emblazoned on it, with a map of that country. 

"DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME??" the man shouted, in French. 

I was shocked beyond belief!! I took out my earphones and responded: "PROBLEM?? I don't know you!"

"That's the third time you've photographed me!" And with that, he returned to his table, and the whole group stood up and, with an air of total Gallic indignation, walked over to the other dining room! 

The waiter brought me my plate of couscous Merguez, looking at me in a strange way. 

"This is CRAZY!!" I told him in Arabic. What is the matter with those people?? I have no camera!!"

The man smiled politely, and left without saying a word. 

Had I been in the good ol' USA, I'd have gone into the other room and questioned the man. But I was a foreigner in a foreign country. To cause problems would mean the police would come, and they most assuredly take the Frenchman's side. 

Digression is the better part of valor. Although I was upset, I left without further adieu, although I told the waiter the food was good - but some of the clientele need to be put into a mental hospital. 

Again he smiled. 

 

I donned my coat and scarf, and walked out into the chilly Paris autumn air. My belly was full of warm, delicious couscous, and my head was still reeling from this bizarre experience!

I Left My I.D. In San Francisco

I had just come in from a two mile walk across town from an Ethiopian Restaurant. I entered the lobby and thought I'd check a few things in the computer. 

I asked the man behind the desk where the crew room was, and he gave me directions. I had just gotten into the elevator when the same man stopped me saying: "Sorry, sir, but I can't let you go down there." he told me, apologetically. "I was told that you are not air crew."

We got out of the elevator, and I asked indignantly: "Not air crew?? WHO says I'm not air crew?"

"The lady at the desk," he explained. This was going to be good.

"Might I speak to her, please?"

"Sure," and I was lead to the Reception Desk, where a white lady was apparently expecting.

"What seems to be the problem?" I asked. 

The lady replied: "You are not allowed access to the crew room, because you are not air crew."

"Oh, REALLY??!!" I exclaimed, "And just how did you come to that conclusion??" ( By now I was getting very agitated.)

"What air line are you with?" She asked, with a smirk.

"What air line am I NOT with?" I retorted angrily. "You seem to know a lot about me!"

"You're not being very co-operative!" She said accusingly.

"Would you like to see my I. D.??"

"I certainly WOULD!" She said emphatically. 

"I'll be right back!" I said, with a smile on my face, and with that I went up to my room, got the ID and descended to the lobby. 

I approached the lady and showed her my airline ID without saying a word. 

Her whole demeanor changed. Looking at the hotel key card in my hand, she asked: "You're already checked in?"

"Yes, ma'am, I am, and I already have the key to the crew room. I just wanted to know where it was!"

The lady apologized. 

"Let me ask you something: is there something about my appearance or my demeanor that caused you to treat me so poorly?"

She was unable to offer an explanation. Neither can I.

My Little Yellow Friend

I had an acquaintance from Switzerland who had a strange way with words. 

One day he came into the place with a coworker - a tall Japanese guy wearing a cowboy hat. I happened to know that man, too. 

Before I could say a word, my Swiss buddy says: "Ken! Say hello to my little yellow friend!"

All of a sudden it got real quiet in the place. Conversations ceased abruptly and all eyes were on these two men. 

The Japanese cowboy was unfazed. He immediately said: "Ken! Say hello to my little Swiss Miss!"

The Swiss guy got all flustered and upset. "I don't think that was very funny!!"  

If you don't like ethnic ridicule, don't do it yourself!

 

A Rock or a Stone?

Some people like to split hairs. One day a man asked for soda water. The only sparkling water we had that day was Seltzer, and I gave that to him. He got upset, saying he wanted Seltzer, NOT soda water. Up until then, I never knew there was a difference! He "educated" me, although I still don't know what that difference is.  

On a flight to Osaka, I asked a man it he wanted chicken or pasta. Being seated on the first row of the rear cabin, there are always "issues." The gentleman, not content with a simple chicken or pasta just HAD to get a complete run-down on the two. I explained that the pasta was a vegetarian lasagna. "That's not the same thing!" He chided; "lasagna is NOT PASTA!" I told him that a rock and a stone have different names, but are the same thing.